You Might Be A Mime If...
You scream by waving your arms really, REALLY passionately
Heated debates can be held in the public library
You've never won anything at an auction - except silent auctions
You're often mistaken for a "Crow" fan
If you had your way, they would ALL be silent movies
You think Goths are posers
The term "inside voice" doesn't apply to you
You make money on the side selling makeup to televangelist's wives and street ho's
Clowns ridicule you
You were disappointed in Batman's "Harley Quinn" character for speaking
You received honorary French citizenship but never applied for it
You can't count the number of things you've been told to do with your invisible rope
Your understanding of "faking it" borders on cosmic
Your "Rhymin' & Mimin'" CD just didn't sell like you expected it to
You're internationally banned from playing charades because you're overqualified
You still anxiously remember almost suffocating in that damn box
Neighbors pound on your wall when you play air guitar
You were overjoyed that the wrestler Sting finally "came out"
Of all the insults hurled at you, "shut up" is one you never hear
You're part of a class-action suit against Madonna for "Vogue"
You've ballooned up to a grotesque 90 pounds
Pigeons crap on you just on general principle
You have no furniture, and don't need any
Some days you just don't feel like wearing the bowler and gloves
You were hired to perform the slow-motion "bullet time" scenes for the Matrix
That "right to remain silent" joke just gets funnier and FUNNIER every few dozen times you hear it
You have a million hilarious jokes but no way to tell them
That job as a play-by-play announcer was STOLEN by that loser just because he "spoke"
They don't understand how close you are to mastering telepathy!
Any time you're surprised, you look like you just had a skyscraper jammed into your rectum
And though not a joke link, here's something I bet most of us really never even though to look into:
Charades - Gateway to Evil