Omakase Amzn

Monday, September 10, 2012

You Might Be A Mime If...


You Might Be A Mime If...

You scream by waving your arms really, REALLY passionately 

Heated debates can be held in the public library

You've never won anything at an auction - except silent auctions

You're often mistaken for a "Crow" fan

If you had your way, they would ALL be silent movies

You think Goths are posers

The term "inside voice" doesn't apply to you

You make money on the side selling makeup to televangelist's wives and street ho's

Clowns ridicule you

You were disappointed in Batman's "Harley Quinn" character for speaking

You received honorary French citizenship but never applied for it

You can't count the number of things you've been told to do with your invisible rope

Your understanding of "faking it" borders on cosmic

Your "Rhymin' & Mimin'" CD just didn't sell like you expected it to

You're internationally banned from playing charades because you're overqualified

You still anxiously remember almost suffocating in that damn box

Neighbors pound on your wall when you play air guitar

You were overjoyed that the wrestler Sting finally "came out"

Of all the insults hurled at you, "shut up" is one you never hear

You're part of a class-action suit against Madonna for "Vogue"

You've ballooned up to a grotesque 90 pounds

Pigeons crap on you just on general principle

You have no furniture, and don't need any

Some days you just don't feel like wearing the bowler and gloves

You were hired to perform the slow-motion "bullet time" scenes for the Matrix

That "right to remain silent" joke just gets funnier and FUNNIER every few dozen times you hear it

You have a million hilarious jokes but no way to tell them

That job as a play-by-play announcer was STOLEN by that loser just because he "spoke"

They don't understand how close you are to mastering telepathy!

Any time you're surprised, you look like you just had a skyscraper jammed into your rectum

And though not a joke link, here's something I bet most of us really never even though to look into:

Charades - Gateway to Evil
http://barelybad.com/charades.htm

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