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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Spam E-mail Award Nominees

The Abstruse Decapod Spam E-mail Awards!

Who will win the coveted title of "Most Obnoxious"? Who will take home the trophy for "Enemy of Logic"? Find out!


Steven Morris Male X'X'X' stars thankful for this ! Thu 01/15 2k

Just sad. This ' ' ' is why its impossible to filter out spam.


Tamra Kerns Melt fat away with HGH the easy way! Thu 01/15 4k
I'm immediately cancelling the HGH Hard Way program! Thank god technology advances as swiftly as it does!




Ellis Gillis As seen on TV! Amazing HGH age reversing secret Thu 01/15 4k
Damn this HGH is pow'ful! Burns fat, reverses aging. If it lubricates and can be used as a dessert topping, I think I know where my next paycheck is going!

SYLVIA SUE PIERCE New E-gold transaction fee, Running on 2004, Jan, 1st Thu 01/15 2k
HUH?!

acer 123456 Come see me now.. I'm Melissa !! Thu 01/15 4k
Thats the problem nowadays; no one wants to talk, to get to know each other. Poor girl.

Timmy Reed ''Improve your cup size NATURALLLY! Clinically verified! jke w iqwii Thu 01/15 2k
I gotta admit, I dunno if this means bra cup or like, athletic cup, but, in a weird sort of way, both are interesting to contemplate... I wasn't gonna check this one out, but HEY! Its clinically verified!

brandon barney M0RTGAGE RATES HIT R0CK BOTTOM!!! .... .... ... mgwbbadvsv47 Thu 01/15 5k
Brandon Barney, like a godsend, KNOWS I need mortage advice, and here he is, delivering the goods! Thanks Barn!

Stacey Mcfadden Ladies beautiful bustlines safely-- tyranny fajvoq yrbu zfjj Thu 01/15 2k
Again, not certain what this subject actually MEANS, but it has the word "tyranny" in it, which is absolutely intriguing, the things that had to happen to bring "bust lines" and "tyranny" into the same e-mail.

Rose West So you're going to do it-sigmund ozhqfb k Wed 01/14 3k
They say news travels fast but this is RIDICULOUS! I hadn't even finished THINKING about doing it!

Molly Redmond Au=dullt male stars are famous for lasting ! fzhhqo Wed 01/14 3k
Thanks for the trivia. I wondered why they were famous.

Jewel Fischer Men (Eks-Eks-Eks) movie stars rely on this !! Wed 01/14 4k
These girls sure know an awful lot about 'eks eks eks' movies. Not the kind of gal to take home to mom. I think the male movie stars probably rely on a complete lack of moral compass, not sure why an e-mail was necessary.

Erna Plummer Lower your blood pressure with HGH Tue 01/13 4k
My GOD! If this can be used as an anlternative fuel, the inventor is gonna get killed!

Earnest Napier Ladies sexier bustlines gair-N-tea-d !! Tue 01/13 3k
My nominee for MOST creative spelling of something to keep it from being filtered out of an e-mail program.

Rufus Hadley Have any beautiful woman!-rebutting sbb ezziyy krenve o Tue 01/13 3k
This is a pretty broad generalization for someone named "Rufus" to attest to. And why is "rebutting" in the subject - that was just a poor random choice all the way around.

infocenter-mail@ dianetics.org Why Can't You Be Happy? Tue 01/13 6k
Well it all started when my parents installed the quicksandbox in our backyard. I was an only child - eventually...

peter122 7323728 Human growth hormone can stop the aging process…. .. … .. . bozznemfhu3547725188... Sat 01/24 3k
Human G... waitaminuuuttteee.. THATS HGH! Sneaky devil! Now that I think about it, doesn't GROWING denote AGING - you get older, you grow... how does... hmmm, well at the very least, if they're wrong, and I take a lot of this, the worst cast scenario is that I'll be a 90 foot tall GIANT able to squash their pesky human armies underfoot! BWAHAHAHAH!

McAfee Security Prices are going up, so get VirusScan protection now. Fri 01/23 13k
Funny, I use free online virus scans and also tend to like the absence of unnecessary McAfee-inspired crashes. Their prices never go up. Thanks anyway, McAfee, I happen to have heard that the only more worthless piece of software to install on my PC is Windows.

Elisabeth Wilkes -Last forever like male po~rn stars over and over oazwqhylw Thu 01/22 2k
Last forever - over and over? Exactly how does that work, on a quantum time-space-physics level?

Johnathan Jenkins Models are useing it! Free offer for HGH Thu 01/22 4k
Models use a LOT of things. I don't think this was the best approach. What KIND of models, anyway...?

Odell Harding Free 1 month weight loss with HGH miracle Wed 01/21 4k
I'd like to lose weight for more than a month - I mean sure, I could probably get some good pictures taken so I could post on yahoo personals, but if I balloon back out a month later, that just seems cruel on many different levels.

أق�رط��ف--�ـث��،��أ�ج�ح��،س�تس�­�ل--آ�ج� Wed 01/21 1k
NOMINEE: Most Pointless WTF Spam - didn't even have links or info or a virus inside it. Boggles the mind.

Bradford Crouch Seakrets. of ((eks-eks-eks)) stars finally available! Tue 01/20 2k
First off I like his name. Second, Seakrets. Sadly, eks eks eks detracts. Sorry, the nomination is off.

Simulcasting T. Breathy Important Information Regarding Your Account yq8P81 Mon 01/19 5k
Now THAT is a name. "Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Simulcasting T. Breathy. I have important information about your account." I'm so enamored of that name, for a moment I was curious about which account Mr. Breathy had information.

autoenquiry@ hartwell.co.uk Hi Mon 01/19 22k
Yo. (I ought to create autoresponse@hartwell.co.uk)

Haley Moreland HGH the secret of healthy people Sun 01/18 4k
All this time I thought it was diet, exercise, good hygiene, avoiding risky situations and having regular checkups. I'm so stupid. Haley ought to be informed the "secret" is making the rounds as everything from The Fountain of Youth to Soy Sauce.

Accrues O. Paralysis Okiecrabjp, new and fully freedom Sat 01/17 4k
NOMINEE: Bizarre Name Which Sounds Like It Should Mean Something But Doesn't.

ةجخّ�جء��،خ���ضذذ�ئ�ز���ص��ؤ���� Sat 01/17 4k
I'm sorry, nominations for this category are closed.

Troopship P. Looser Hi Okiecrabjp! New oem software. Fri 01/16 4k
We have a late entrant, but the judge is allowing it! Let's hear it for Troopship P. Looser!

Leaky R. Cashiers Okiecrabjp, new and fully freedom Fri 01/16 4k
If it weren't for "new and fully freedom", ol Leaky's name here wouldn't have gotten him in. Lucky him!

Cornelius Puckett Physicians. agree! Increase those bra sizes! tu Fri 01/16
Is this a statement? Is he telling physicians to increase bra sizes? Does he mean the material? Exactly what is going on in this e-mail?!

Rosanna Herring W.@n7 A Bett.3r J0b? alfonso Sat 01/10 4k
LEETSPEAK SPAM! All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes, Rosannaaaaaaaaaa...

GlobalSCAPE What are your Web site visitors thinking? Find out Now Fri 01/09 9k
Finally, the web-based PSYCHIC MIND PROBE PROGRAM! Ok so maybe Globalscape does have neat stuff now and then!

McAfee Security Afraid of viruses & taxes? Get VirusScan w/bonus TaxCut. Thu 01/08 14k
No actually I'm not afraid of either. Odd how I'm not scared of bits of computer code and pieces of paper. And I haven't even had counselling!

Rodger Yazzie .a Drive the opposite sex crazy with desire! fotbxiitsr qmq Wed 01/07 3k
You know, fotbxiitsr looks like "Foxbiter", which is good for a laugh.



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