Omakase Amzn

Monday, September 24, 2012

RPG Debris - Tabletop Trash or Treasure: Pro Power Championship Wrestling

RPG Debris
Tabletop Trash or Treasure:
Pro Power Championship Wrestling
(c) 1994 Pro Action Sports Entertainment

 The year was 1994. Although a runaway planet didn't hurtle between the earth and the moon, unleashing cosmic destruction, I did get duped into paying money for a really crappy dice wrestling game that was apparently created by a junior high kid with a Rob Liefeld mancrush. This is my story.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Video Review - RPG Debris: Tabletop Trash or Treasure: SIMCO Wrestling

SIMCO Wrestling

Professional Wrestling Statistics Dice Game


What game recaptures the magic of Saturday night wrestling events from the 80's with dice and statted out wrestlers? I don't know, but if you figure it out, tell me. Until then, here's my review of SIMCO Wrestling.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Video Review - RPG Debris:
Tabletop Trash or Treasure?

Backyard Brawls

Erotic Furry Wrestling

Making Love and War at the Same Time

Steven T. Purdie

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Video Review - RPG Debris: Tabletop Trash or Treasure



Tim and Christine Morgan

This episode takes a look at a small 30k HTML file written to expand on GURPS' woefully inadequate sex rules (according to the authors). Thank goodness there are people out there bringing us the much-needed fan resources!

Monday, September 10, 2012

You Might Be A Mime If...

You Might Be A Mime If...

You scream by waving your arms really, REALLY passionately 

Heated debates can be held in the public library

You've never won anything at an auction - except silent auctions

You're often mistaken for a "Crow" fan

If you had your way, they would ALL be silent movies

You think Goths are posers

The term "inside voice" doesn't apply to you

You make money on the side selling makeup to televangelist's wives and street ho's

Clowns ridicule you

You were disappointed in Batman's "Harley Quinn" character for speaking

You received honorary French citizenship but never applied for it

You can't count the number of things you've been told to do with your invisible rope

Your understanding of "faking it" borders on cosmic

Your "Rhymin' & Mimin'" CD just didn't sell like you expected it to

You're internationally banned from playing charades because you're overqualified

You still anxiously remember almost suffocating in that damn box

Neighbors pound on your wall when you play air guitar

You were overjoyed that the wrestler Sting finally "came out"

Of all the insults hurled at you, "shut up" is one you never hear

You're part of a class-action suit against Madonna for "Vogue"

You've ballooned up to a grotesque 90 pounds

Pigeons crap on you just on general principle

You have no furniture, and don't need any

Some days you just don't feel like wearing the bowler and gloves

You were hired to perform the slow-motion "bullet time" scenes for the Matrix

That "right to remain silent" joke just gets funnier and FUNNIER every few dozen times you hear it

You have a million hilarious jokes but no way to tell them

That job as a play-by-play announcer was STOLEN by that loser just because he "spoke"

They don't understand how close you are to mastering telepathy!

Any time you're surprised, you look like you just had a skyscraper jammed into your rectum

And though not a joke link, here's something I bet most of us really never even though to look into:

Charades - Gateway to Evil

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Spam E-mail Award Nominees

The Abstruse Decapod Spam E-mail Awards!

Who will win the coveted title of "Most Obnoxious"? Who will take home the trophy for "Enemy of Logic"? Find out!

Steven Morris Male X'X'X' stars thankful for this ! Thu 01/15 2k

Just sad. This ' ' ' is why its impossible to filter out spam.

Tamra Kerns Melt fat away with HGH the easy way! Thu 01/15 4k
I'm immediately cancelling the HGH Hard Way program! Thank god technology advances as swiftly as it does!

Ellis Gillis As seen on TV! Amazing HGH age reversing secret Thu 01/15 4k
Damn this HGH is pow'ful! Burns fat, reverses aging. If it lubricates and can be used as a dessert topping, I think I know where my next paycheck is going!

SYLVIA SUE PIERCE New E-gold transaction fee, Running on 2004, Jan, 1st Thu 01/15 2k

acer 123456 Come see me now.. I'm Melissa !! Thu 01/15 4k
Thats the problem nowadays; no one wants to talk, to get to know each other. Poor girl.

Timmy Reed ''Improve your cup size NATURALLLY! Clinically verified! jke w iqwii Thu 01/15 2k
I gotta admit, I dunno if this means bra cup or like, athletic cup, but, in a weird sort of way, both are interesting to contemplate... I wasn't gonna check this one out, but HEY! Its clinically verified!

brandon barney M0RTGAGE RATES HIT R0CK BOTTOM!!! .... .... ... mgwbbadvsv47 Thu 01/15 5k
Brandon Barney, like a godsend, KNOWS I need mortage advice, and here he is, delivering the goods! Thanks Barn!

Stacey Mcfadden Ladies beautiful bustlines safely-- tyranny fajvoq yrbu zfjj Thu 01/15 2k
Again, not certain what this subject actually MEANS, but it has the word "tyranny" in it, which is absolutely intriguing, the things that had to happen to bring "bust lines" and "tyranny" into the same e-mail.

Rose West So you're going to do it-sigmund ozhqfb k Wed 01/14 3k
They say news travels fast but this is RIDICULOUS! I hadn't even finished THINKING about doing it!

Molly Redmond Au=dullt male stars are famous for lasting ! fzhhqo Wed 01/14 3k
Thanks for the trivia. I wondered why they were famous.

Jewel Fischer Men (Eks-Eks-Eks) movie stars rely on this !! Wed 01/14 4k
These girls sure know an awful lot about 'eks eks eks' movies. Not the kind of gal to take home to mom. I think the male movie stars probably rely on a complete lack of moral compass, not sure why an e-mail was necessary.

Erna Plummer Lower your blood pressure with HGH Tue 01/13 4k
My GOD! If this can be used as an anlternative fuel, the inventor is gonna get killed!

Earnest Napier Ladies sexier bustlines gair-N-tea-d !! Tue 01/13 3k
My nominee for MOST creative spelling of something to keep it from being filtered out of an e-mail program.

Rufus Hadley Have any beautiful woman!-rebutting sbb ezziyy krenve o Tue 01/13 3k
This is a pretty broad generalization for someone named "Rufus" to attest to. And why is "rebutting" in the subject - that was just a poor random choice all the way around.

infocenter-mail@ Why Can't You Be Happy? Tue 01/13 6k
Well it all started when my parents installed the quicksandbox in our backyard. I was an only child - eventually...

peter122 7323728 Human growth hormone can stop the aging process…. .. … .. . bozznemfhu3547725188... Sat 01/24 3k
Human G... waitaminuuuttteee.. THATS HGH! Sneaky devil! Now that I think about it, doesn't GROWING denote AGING - you get older, you grow... how does... hmmm, well at the very least, if they're wrong, and I take a lot of this, the worst cast scenario is that I'll be a 90 foot tall GIANT able to squash their pesky human armies underfoot! BWAHAHAHAH!

McAfee Security Prices are going up, so get VirusScan protection now. Fri 01/23 13k
Funny, I use free online virus scans and also tend to like the absence of unnecessary McAfee-inspired crashes. Their prices never go up. Thanks anyway, McAfee, I happen to have heard that the only more worthless piece of software to install on my PC is Windows.

Elisabeth Wilkes -Last forever like male po~rn stars over and over oazwqhylw Thu 01/22 2k
Last forever - over and over? Exactly how does that work, on a quantum time-space-physics level?

Johnathan Jenkins Models are useing it! Free offer for HGH Thu 01/22 4k
Models use a LOT of things. I don't think this was the best approach. What KIND of models, anyway...?

Odell Harding Free 1 month weight loss with HGH miracle Wed 01/21 4k
I'd like to lose weight for more than a month - I mean sure, I could probably get some good pictures taken so I could post on yahoo personals, but if I balloon back out a month later, that just seems cruel on many different levels.

أق�رط��ف--�ـث��،��أ�ج�ح��،س�تس�­�ل--آ�ج� Wed 01/21 1k
NOMINEE: Most Pointless WTF Spam - didn't even have links or info or a virus inside it. Boggles the mind.

Bradford Crouch Seakrets. of ((eks-eks-eks)) stars finally available! Tue 01/20 2k
First off I like his name. Second, Seakrets. Sadly, eks eks eks detracts. Sorry, the nomination is off.

Simulcasting T. Breathy Important Information Regarding Your Account yq8P81 Mon 01/19 5k
Now THAT is a name. "Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Simulcasting T. Breathy. I have important information about your account." I'm so enamored of that name, for a moment I was curious about which account Mr. Breathy had information.

autoenquiry@ Hi Mon 01/19 22k
Yo. (I ought to create

Haley Moreland HGH the secret of healthy people Sun 01/18 4k
All this time I thought it was diet, exercise, good hygiene, avoiding risky situations and having regular checkups. I'm so stupid. Haley ought to be informed the "secret" is making the rounds as everything from The Fountain of Youth to Soy Sauce.

Accrues O. Paralysis Okiecrabjp, new and fully freedom Sat 01/17 4k
NOMINEE: Bizarre Name Which Sounds Like It Should Mean Something But Doesn't.

ةجخّ�جء��،خ���ضذذ�ئ�ز���ص��ؤ���� Sat 01/17 4k
I'm sorry, nominations for this category are closed.

Troopship P. Looser Hi Okiecrabjp! New oem software. Fri 01/16 4k
We have a late entrant, but the judge is allowing it! Let's hear it for Troopship P. Looser!

Leaky R. Cashiers Okiecrabjp, new and fully freedom Fri 01/16 4k
If it weren't for "new and fully freedom", ol Leaky's name here wouldn't have gotten him in. Lucky him!

Cornelius Puckett Physicians. agree! Increase those bra sizes! tu Fri 01/16
Is this a statement? Is he telling physicians to increase bra sizes? Does he mean the material? Exactly what is going on in this e-mail?!

Rosanna Herring W.@n7 A Bett.3r J0b? alfonso Sat 01/10 4k
LEETSPEAK SPAM! All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes, Rosannaaaaaaaaaa...

GlobalSCAPE What are your Web site visitors thinking? Find out Now Fri 01/09 9k
Finally, the web-based PSYCHIC MIND PROBE PROGRAM! Ok so maybe Globalscape does have neat stuff now and then!

McAfee Security Afraid of viruses & taxes? Get VirusScan w/bonus TaxCut. Thu 01/08 14k
No actually I'm not afraid of either. Odd how I'm not scared of bits of computer code and pieces of paper. And I haven't even had counselling!

Rodger Yazzie .a Drive the opposite sex crazy with desire! fotbxiitsr qmq Wed 01/07 3k
You know, fotbxiitsr looks like "Foxbiter", which is good for a laugh.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Amazing Spam E-mails

We all get these, pretty much all the time by now, but occasionally I like to stop and really think about them. Why? Because I go one step further in putting off work, all for my readers. I ask for nothing in return, except lots of money, but so far that has been woefully non-forthcoming.

  Ingram Lewis Anna Kornekova Eats Red Meat RARE
Woohoo! If there's one thing I've lusted after seeing, all these years, its her breaking out of that boring vegetarian cycle she's in and REALLY chowing down on a bleeding double bacon cheeseburger! I'm all hot just thinking about it - no, wait, actually, I'm hungry - thanks a LOT, Ingram!

Your Therapist Re: Enter to Win Free Body Massages for 1 YEear! My split personality has finally gotten so bad I not only don't remember hiring a therapist, I hired a really questionable one, that gives out chances to win body massages and is unable to grasp the subtle nuances of spelling "year" with four letters - or at least he doesn't know how to use spellcheck. I'm looking into my malpractice options!

College Center You Have One DEGREE Waiting! Sun 04/13 2k DAMN! There's that split personality again! I wonder what the hell I have a degree in! I hope its something good like Hot Asian Chick Psychology or Fluffy Pillow Tester!!! Woohoo here I come, College Center!

Legal Debt Elimination Re: You Have Been Selected! Sun 04/13 2k I have a legal debt? Or I've been selected to legally eliminate debt? Or am I being picked for a sort of elite corporate crime-fighting squad. That rawks!

Long Nights Seduce Women Now! Sat 04/12 8k DAMN! Now I wish I hadn't ordered their earlier "Seduce Women in Approximately 6 Years!" product last month. Stay away folks - I think Long Nights isn't on the up and up!

Buy Foreclosed Homes *FORECLOSED HOMES FOR SALE! Sat 04/12 2k Dammit, why do they have to be so VAGUE?! I wanna know whats in here before I click the link!

A Friend View Photos of Singles in YOUR Area! That is a HELL OF A FRIEND! Who are you, Friend? How do you know I want to see photos of singles in my area! Besides being an anonymous 'guardian angel' type friend I didn't even know I had, you are quite obviously psychic! God has smiled on me this day!

Old High School Friend Come Find Me!!! Sat 04/12 19k Hmmmmmm. Oh damn, those wacky guys! They always were jokers, but this sure as heck tops the list - sending me an anonymous e-mail totally out of the blue, teasing me and playing hard to get! You nut, I'm sending you an e-mail to end the farce - don't mind the w32klez.exe attachment...

Winner Confirmation re: Win a $1,000 Grocery Shopping Spree! Sat 04/12 2k Woohoo! I don't even remember writing them for them to respond to me, but this is SO much better than getting those same old "Loser Confirmation re: once again, you sucked ass" e-mails that keep filling up my e-mail account. I know what I'm buying bay-bee - hot dogs and licorice!!!

Customer Service re: Congratulations - You've Won! WOW! I CANNOT *BE-LIEVE* my INCREDIBLE luck! Even the customer SERVICE people are doing prize promotions and giveaways! Truly, I now know that I am one of the Chosen Ones! I will have to write trouble tickets and complain about website service more often!

Approved Approval Notification: 3 Minute Approval! Is it just me, or did this approval take even less than 3 minutes?! These people are AMAZING!!!

Nadine Wilson 18 and Horney Fri 04/11 7k Well, she spells marginally better than my cat, and she's of age and she trustingly gave her full name - I hear wedding bells!

NEW Car Want a NEW Car?!? Whoah dude! Its like, one of them sentient cars, like K.I.T.T. or Herbie the Lovebug! FAR OUT!

Nestor Lewis Spooge Fest Extravaganza.... Fri 04/11 2k OMG! I'd been waiting for word on Spooge Fest! Its supposed to be in the Valley this year, headlined by Saliva!

Free Horoscopes Re: PERSONAL PSYCHIC ADVICE - AT NO COST! Fri 04/11 2k No thanks, I already have a psychic guardian angel friend who has links to singles in my area. I'm covered.

FreeAdultDVD's Are Girls Crazy? Fri 04/11 4k Thought provoking philosophy from what you would expect to be soulless flesh-peddling, money-grubbing weasels - the world sure has changed since 1985! *Spoiler - surprisingly, they let you make up your own mind - truly a forward-thinking porn retailer.

Non Profit Help You are Now 100% Debt Free - Must Respond Today Fri 04/11 4k Whoah, whoah whoah. I'm 100% Debt Free, thanks to the kind folks over at Non Profit Help? Must Respond Today? DAMN! I missed it by two days - wonder what happens... maybe they just wanted a thank you card.

Confirmation Department We owe you $60 -- Immediate response needed. Fri 04/11 11k Okay - "HELL YAH!!!" - Hmm. I sent that two days ago and they still haven't sent me anything...

Gabriel Wilson Sadaam Is Gone...FFree Adult Passwords MAN! The war really DID have some serious international ramifications didn't it! Damn you "Sadaam", not only did you oppress the Iraqi people, hide Weapons of Mass Destruction and sponsor terrorism - you were bogarting the damned porn passwords??!!!! BOMB HIS ASS, RUMMY!!!

Local Positions Part-Time Help Needed! Fri 04/11 2k Thats pretty damn desperate. If McDonald's big-assed sign doesn't work, I don't think this will...

Archibald Anderson Sorority Girls wasted on SCREWdrivers..... God! Thanks for the update, Double A, you're better than CNN - it good to stay updated on the important events going on in the world nowadays! Or maybe it means college girls don't know how to operate a screwdriver, so they're wasted on them? Or screwdrivers aren't attracted to college girls? I need to know!

Protect Yourself Get FREE Condoms online! Now, I'm not a newbie to the internet - but I can NOT for the life of me figure out HOW the hell this works!!! Modern computer scientific breakthroughs continue to astound me!

Thor Lee You know who wants to meet you? I hate these kinds of jokes. "No one". Yah, really damn funny Lee. Go to hell.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Tabletop RPG Review: F.A.T.A.L.

Definitely not safe for work, or children, or anyone with eyes or ears, this is a review of the alleged tabletop RPG, FATAL (Fantasy Adventure to Adult Lechery or From Another Time Another Land). This is actually Part 1 (of 14) which I uploaded to Youtube. Very few people can make it to the end - can you? Take the FATAL Challenge! Well, no, that probably involves some body orifice measurement. Take the Abstruse Decapod Challenge.


Thursday, September 6, 2012

Tabletop RPG Review: Solomon Kane

1600s pulp adventure in the world of Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan, following in the footsteps of puritan scourge of supernatural evil, Solomon Kane.

Solomon Kane Tabletop Role Playing Game

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Insulted by a Clown

I'm going to share the following because I still find it amusing. At one time, I had an anti-mime site, and talked to various people in the few peripheral communities that would intersect with, and had exchanged a few emails with someone who was a clown, that told me about another clown that was very rude and insulting to them, and I gave my opinion on that other person. In some way I don't know, they got that e-mail and sent me a well-reasoned and thoughtful reply. Here is that response and my reply back, which was the last I ever heard from that clown.

 > I don't know who you are but you're very stupid..
> You're obviously one on 
> [good clown's]  worms..

I'm a moderator on an anti-clown forum. My regenerative segmented body notwithstanding, I am my own worm, no one else's.

>   I"m taking you to court for defamation of
> character. 

Okay, you do that. I'll be in the corner holding my breath, just ask for Blue Boy.

Better  yet why don't
> you come over to my house and say all that to me to
> my face.

Because you've already read it, and I'm not one for redundancy.

>Or are you a wimp like the Lesbian Sharon.

What does sexual orientiation have to do with any of this?

>  I have a copy of the e-mail you sent to the Lesbian
> clown about me.. 

Good for you - you want a cookie? What is it with your obsession with lesbians? Me think you doth protest too much, Ellen.

> obvious she's still  off her medication for her
> by-polar. or when she  gossiped
> about me to you. I just read it and again you are
> stupid for writing  that
> e-mail, You need some serious help.

I'm getting serious help in the form of counselling and two different medications for depression, but thanks for your concern all the same.

> You will be in
> your own little circle  in
> Hell with Sharon.  That's where  people like you and
> her  belong.

Ah my very own circle of hell. Only us special people get our own. Thank you for your kind words.

>I'm not demented I just don't take crap from >low-lives like your self and let you get away with it. 

I was talking about you, not to you. And I would reaffirm that I think you are demented, as you're sending insulting e-mails to me for criticizing you to someone else, not to mention my earlier reasoning of your batshit insano bible-thumping balderdash.

>Anyone who judges some one they don't know has no >life and feeds off of other peoples trash,

We judge people we don't know all the time. If there's a cheeseburger and it doesn't look too dirty, I might dig into the trash.

>you're obviously a follower and not a leader.


>So you're probably, what, a mammas boy. Didn't your mamma teach you anything, or is this what she taught you.

Yep, I'm a Mama's Boy. She really didn't teach me anything one way or another about arguments and disagreements between clowns via e-mail.

Tabletop RPG Review: Babewatch

Red speedos and bikinis, babes and hunks saving lives, beach parties and volleyball! I have finally gotten around to my backlog of games I have been planning to review for a while. This one may seem a bit dated. But that's just the cynic in you talking.


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Online Wrestling Games

While none of them equal the sophistication of a console game, there are some graphical wrestling games available for free play online. Below are the most notable ones I could find:

GWA Wrestling Riot

Nickelodeon Wack Wrestling Challenge

Miniclip Wrestling

ICW Backyard Brawl

MDickie's Wrestling Revolution Touchscreen App

Mucha Lucha Wrestling

The Other Arena Online Wrestling Simulator

Many thanks to Gaz - I am re-mirroring a post that he himself mirrored from an earlier site of mine, as I feel these are useful programming utilities for many ages.

These are tools with the author, programmer, creator or developer of a simulator in mind, notably mostly programming languages and related utilities and sites - so if you're interested in starting your own sim, or just your own program, wrestling simulator or something else entirely, this is a good start for free programs and information you're going to want to look into.

Programming Languages
These are applications which you download and install on your computer, and allow you to write code or programs, either utilities, applications or games (or sims).

Visual Basic
Microsoft's graphical user interface incarnation of BASIC for the Windows era.

Microsoft Visual Basic 2008 Express is the modern graphical user interface (GUI/Windows) version of Microsoft's older, ubiquitous Qbasic for DOS (anyone remember any of that?). Part of the Microsoft Visual Studio Express Editions collection, MS describes it as "ideal for the developer learning to program on Microsoft® Windows®." and yes, it is free, legitimately, from them. This would have been nice, oh, about ten to fifteen years ago for people making sims.

● NOTE: Don't neglect to look into Visual C# and Visual C++, the other two, much more powerful and useful (and marketable, job-wise) free languages offered.

Tabletop RPG Reviews: Timecube and Hybrid

While it lacks the awkward, forced humor that usually accompanies my videos (I guess I just wasn’t “feeling it”), I do at least cover the Timecube and Hybrid RPGs, in this 40 minute video I uploaded to Youtube.

 Tabletop RPG Reviews: Timecube and Hybrid

Monday, September 3, 2012

Video: How To Play A Tabletop Role Playing Game

This is a (tongue in cheek) look at the basics of roleplaying games and how to play them, for those new to the hobby.

Anyone can recite the info on GameMasters and Players. But do you know about the Glasses of Leadership and the Thick Woolen Coat's importance in metagame mechanics?

 How To Play A Tabletop Role Playing Game: Kill It With Fire

Professional Wrestling Simulator Hall of Fame Online!

Hello wrestling simulator and other fans. This post will finally give everyone some closure, and provide a trip back through time, as the PWS HoF hands out the awards for Individual Contributions, Simulator Excellence and Editor's Choice Awards, with about 9 ranks of inductees in each category. How did you favorite sim or author do? Find out now!

Encylopedia Britannica Gives Up On "Normal People"

The company that, for decades, has been happy to sell you a set of books so heavy that God himself couldn't lift it all at once, and so expensive for the average blue-collar worker, that the gold-gilt lettering on the spines of each volume can be used as a status symbol in most communities whose main activities are hay bales, greatly anticipating new Super Bowl commercials, and "fixin' my truck".

Britannica has said goodbye to the physical medium for their contribution to literacy and knowledge, discontinuing the printed word version of their encyclopedia, in exchange for the digital format, because, I mean, who reads real books, right?

Don't worry though, they still charge money, so you still get that fresh, new, money-sucking experience, but now all you have is a virtual collection of 0's and 1', which have been repeatedly proven to be damn poor table leg levelers and spider squishers.

This was a no-brainer, financially, for Britannica, but will it wind up being a "no brainer" for everyone else too?

CNN Article
Image above from CNN

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Movie Review: Epic - Days of the Dinosaurs

Epic: Days of the Dinosaurs (animated, narrated by John Huston) 
Original Release: Yoram Gross, Australia, 1983
Re-Released: May 5, 1993 Company: Family Home Entertainment (f.h.e.) Runtime: 75 minutes

I just really have to mention this. I went to a garage sale a couple weeks ago, and bought the animated Rikki Tikki Tavi (about the mongoose and the cobra), Eliminators (cyborgs, ninjas, ghosts, guides, barfights, evil scientists and starring Tasha Yar, Denise Crosby, from ST:TNG, oh my!) and yes, Epic. I paid about two bucks for all three VHS tapes (I love garage sales).

Rikki Tikki Tavi, and in fact, all three, were, much to my utter shock, in absolutely GREAT shape, especially for being in a garage sale and the LOOK of the cases they were in (all original, also surprisingly). Being a fan of bad and/or old/strange movies, I bought these three, but Epic stood out because while at first I thought it was a kids' dinosaur movie, I happened to notice the children on the cover of the box with POINTED ears. Elves and dinosaurs? Definitely worth 50 cents.Although... the kids in the movie are neither blond nor easily identifiable by gender, nor wearing blue... maybe these drab, brown-haired, brown-clad cavepeople are the kids the blond elfin kids from the cover meet- shit. Nope, just a totally different artist apparently going on vague directions give to him. Way to be consistent.