Thursday, October 11, 2012

WTFWatch: Hawk the Slayer Fan Fiction

Author: slytherinsa (at

"Such a meeting on a wild and windy January night took place between the Archbishop and four guests; Hawk the Slayer and his brother, Voltan the Warlord being the principle invited guests. The archbishop had too perforce, since they would not be left out, Annis, Voltan's tiny pale lady; and Jehanne, half sister to Annis' half sister and accounted step sister by that strong minded young lady. Jehanne acted as Hawk's page while she learned enough to be called his squire. She had cut her hair short to pretend to be a boy to better protect her sister Sylvia ere Voltan had taken them into his care; and kept for the nonce her dark golden curls short and still, for reason of her slender build, passed as a boy.

Voltan scowled at the Archbishop as Hawk introduced them; their reconciliation was still of recent date and the warlord was edgy around those who had recently been his enemies."


Seriously - WHAT? Hawk has reunited with his sixty some year old brother, whom he himself killed, at the end of the greatest sword-and-sorcery classic movie ever, Hawk the Slayer, starring Jack Palance and John Terry. Now Voltan and Hawk both have new wimminz and Voltan and Hawk are attending church? I was going to ignore this and move on, counting it as an odd quirk, being the only Hawk the Slayer fanfic on the net (well, it and another both written by this same person), but now this is such an incredibly eyebrow-raising work I'm making sure to make a note of this for anyone that is curious about what a Hawk the Slayer fan fiction work looks like, around 18 chapters each... wow. As a Slaver from the River Shale might say, "God's Teeth!"

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